I am trying not to be impatient, but this week has been incredibly slow. I could be working on a project, but the client is not ready yet. My fear is that all my work will start coming in at the same time and it will be overwhelming.
God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.
Amen.
--Reinhold Niebuhr
Trust in the Lord with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways acknowledge him,
and he will direct your paths.
Proverbs 3, 5-6
— Philippians 1:29 (NIV)
This is today's verse and I'm not sure how to take it. We have been struggling through the month with uncertainty and doubt. I've been fighting it and it's been a battle. I've had some good days, but mostly bad. Does this mean I'm supposed to be this way? Is this the way God intended me to be? Why would he want our family to suffer? What is his plan?
I am completely helpless in this position. I am working hard and getting more contracts to keep our bank account afloat but it still hurts to put our snowball on hold. I keep seeing the bank balances and wishing I could take a portion of it and completely pay off our last credit card. But, I am worried if I do that, we will regret it and wish we had the money to pay the mortgage sometime down the road if things don't turn around quickly.
Everything was going so great. We were well on the road to debt freedom and building a comfortable emergency fund. It was fun, it was exciting and it made me feel smart with our money. I've never felt that way before.
I pray hard that this detour is short and we can get back on our debt free journey again.
Lucille O’Neal shares her public battles and personal struggles as a young, single mother of NBA legend Shaquille O’Neal.
Lucille O’Neal would one day have it all, but not before fighting the public battles and personal demons that would threaten to shatter the very foundation of her life while taking their devastating toll along the way.
Over the past 16 years, Lucille O’Neal has become one of the best-known mothers of a celebrity athlete. But behind the scenes, the mother of four has her own story, at once heartbreakingly familiar in its pain and yet wonderfully inspirational in its outcome.
In this memoir, O’Neal candidly describes the pain of being an outcast and the stigma of becoming an unwed, teenage mother. Most interestingly, she candidly shares another side of fame and fortune—a side rarely revealed or admitted in public: her unexpected feelings of anger and resentment towards her son’s blinding success.
— Joshua 1:9 (NIV)
